But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
