Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
