I looked at my own cervix.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
