People in love make me want to vomit
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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