ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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