if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
