I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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