I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
