Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
