Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She bit a glass in half.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
