I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
