Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
