so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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