Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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