I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
