That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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