Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
