i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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