I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
