i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
