Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
