I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
