Can Purell be used as lube?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
