I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize