Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
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