beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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