Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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