The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
