If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Girls should come with a carfax report
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
