Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
