I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
