mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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