smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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