In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
