Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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