i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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