And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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