if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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