you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize