if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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