Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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