In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
