i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
