it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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