why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I have already put on my inside pants.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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