Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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