Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
