i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
