The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
