If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
