i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
