well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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