I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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