Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize