1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
