The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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