Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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