There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
soo... how was my night?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
