I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
