my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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