last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
