i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
